Moving to France.
I’m aware that there has been a lot written about this subject, or about moving anywhere for that matter. But I can’t help but think our situation is relatively unique, as of course everyone does.
There are a myriad of articles and forums brimming with information from those supposedly in the know about all things France. From where to find Lurpak to how to repair your septic tank. And there’s no doubt that information about settling in France like the latter or importing a car is a huge help to people in our newly found situation. Though I’m not so sure about the acquisition of anaemic Danish dairy products.
The thing is, these forums and most of the people on them are ex-pats who predominantly came over in their 60’s.
Who had the luxury of making the trip pre-Brexit (lucky bastards) and let’s face it, likely having sold their boomer-bought house for 1000% profit. Whilst there was still French bureaucracy, things were certainly a damn site easier than they are now.
I think you would be hard-pressed to find anyone, even Boris Johnson or Nigel Farage. Who could reel off the benefits of the post-Brexit UK we find ourselves in. What a load of dog shit people were fed. Even upon leaving the UK, it follows you like a bad smell. “Oh, well since Brexit…. everything is a fucking nightmare” is all I hear and see repeatedly, even in French.
I’m lucky enough to be the spouse of a French National, which you would believe would make things easier, but after collectively living in the UK as a family for more than a decade we’re all subject to the same treatment. That is whereby you’re told there are a few doors available to you, but after completing the mountain of mandatory paperwork you find that they are all locked and if you’re lucky, a month later, someone will let you through the toilet window.
I feel like we’ve been stuck on Ellis Island for 2 months in a campervan, but there’s very little chance we’re ever going to get to sample the sweet delights of the Big Apple or in this case the Art de Vivre.
We did fortunately have a house to sell in the UK. However the proceeds from a below-average house sale no longer buy you the chateau you’re led to believe from the TV shows. Though you still get considerably more bang for your buck, with that decreasing or increasing on a scale depending on how close to civilisation you want to be.
I suppose my point is exploring why people seem to feel it appropriate to ask ‘’are you happy now?’’ As if we just instantaneously swapped one life for another or before we were some deplorable grumps. Unfortunately, that’s not quite how it works, at least in my experience. Maybe if you have the opportunity to move for work through a company, you don’t have a family and your employer set you up with a nice little relocation package, did a lot of the heavy lifting for you, so to speak.
Then perhaps there’s some rapidity to you settling into your great new life. But for us who quit our jobs, took our kids out of nursery, sold our worldly possessions and jumped in a campervan with our dog and some cash in search of a new life. I feel it’s going to be a bit more of a process and a long one at that. A vast, winding and difficult road filled with house hunting, new schools, new jobs, a new language, never ending paperwork and more camping and anxiety than should ever be experienced in one’s lifetime. And worst of all, we chose this….
I’m sure there are many who will say that these are champagne problems and indeed they are.
However, I think it’s very sad that we’re in a place socially where one’s not entitled to discuss hardship or worthy of any compassion unless they had the situation forced upon them. God, forbid they dared to choose the new path themselves. As if in order to command any empathy you must have had extreme atrocities committed against you.
I personally think it’s very brave to choose to leave a shit situation when you are not forced to. It takes great courage and strength to quit a well-paid job because it’s not in line with your values or to leave a partner because they make you deeply unhappy. People who choose to better their situation or selves against adversity should be commended, supported and not shamed when asked how they’re getting on if they reply that truthfully ”It’s rough”.
So, no I’m not “happy now”. But we’re making progress.