90 days alcohol-free, what did I learn and will I drink again?
One year no beer, a review.
Personal experience. I am not a Doctor.
Though in my younger years I certainly at times have drank heavily. Now an average week might include 7-10 pints spread out in total throughout the week, no doubt still far beyond the recommended amount of 0.
I signed up for OYNB never intending to stop drinking forever, it was more of a reset and to see if I could do it.
Like anyone who drinks regularly, I have or had a level of dependency on alcohol. Anyone who says they don’t is lying in my opinion. My wife is also pregnant so it seemed like a good time to do it in solidarity with her (though even when not pregnant she hardly drinks).
In the ‘’OYNB Community’’ I didn’t seem to encounter anyone on a similar journey. So I felt alienated at times. This was compounded by the videos which would talk about being regularly drunk and hungover. Though, I am no stranger to these states. Today they are something rare and largely a thing of the past as I have young kids. So, I don’t drink enough for this to happen. Otherwise, the days would be impossible.
As OYNB is aimed at those who want to change their relationship with alcohol not necessarily abstain altogether the rhetoric wasn’t helpful and at times quite patronising.
However, I concede that sobriety is necessary for some and a noble path to take for all. So, kudos to those who have. But for a business that vehemently denies being aimed at those with alcohol use disorder, it seems to attract a lot of those resembling behaviours with that disorder. Whichever way you slice it as it’s a paid subscription I can’t help but feel they are making money off other’s challenges whether they intend to or not.
Unfortunately, I didn’t see any of the benefits often talked about like losing weight, having more energy and so on. I felt largely the same and maybe even exercised less. Sleep did improve but I was a pretty good sleeper anyway.
The headlines are I didn’t feel 10 years younger which honestly was a bit of a disappointment.
I believe the reason for my lack of results was a few years ago I had a bit of a health kick which I have maintained. I went predominantly vegan/veggie and started long-distance running. That had a huge impact on my lifestyle incorporating many of the things which are talked about on the OYNB journey. It seems to be assumed that as well as drinking too much one has very few positive habits already like journaling and exercising.
Ironically someone posted a video contradictory to what seemed to be the whole process. About how alcohol like any addictive substance is indeed not the problem but the solution. It is merely a symptom to what’s really going on. There’s a quote about not trusting someone who doesn’t drink alcohol which while ridiculous shed’s light to me on the fact that what I’ve learnt from this experience is if they don’t drink I’m sure they partake in some other disruptive behaviour of which drinking seems to be the most common.
I found on my own historic journey I naturally drank less the happier I got and I drank more the unhappier I was and in that particular order. I wasn’t unhappy because I drank more or more happy because I drank less.
I can’t help but think whilst getting on the wagon is definitely a great thing to do it’s not going to solve all your problems because it’s not about drinking. Just like most eating disorders apparently have nothing to do with food.
In conclusion giving up alcohol might be the catalyst for you to change many of the unhealthy aspects of your life. But if like me Alcohol, in particular beer is the last bastion, you might not see that much difference so manage your expectations.
I did however attend events where not drinking would have been difficult and I found that I still had a good time. That was a big myth to bust for me so for that alone the challenge was worth it. 90 days is long enough that you have to get on with life.
You can’t white-knuckle it like 28 days where you can’t wait to have a beer. You have to change your behaviour. Come the 91st day I had a few beers but I wasn’t desperate.
My one eureka moment was that I blamed a lot of my misgivings and perceived failures on Alcohol. I used to ask myself ”Had I not been drinking so much when I was younger, could I have done better and achieved more?” And the answer for me was no.
Working in jobs I hated for many years, 50 plus hours a week in the pursuit of money to buy shit and fit in with societal expectations. That is the main reason I didn’t pursue more creative endeavours. That was the main reason I hadn’t achieved all my goals, not alcohol. That was how I coped with the life I was living. That realisation was a relief.
Look at your life, do you hate your job? Do you hate your Partner?
So, though giving up poison is a good place to start it’s not going to miraculously solve all your problems at least it didn’t for me. I know now I can no longer blame all my challenges on beer. As David Goggins would say ‘’ you’re going to have to go much deeper in the pain cave’’